For many women, it’s a familiar tale. After years of feeling invisible and unheard in their marriage, they reach the end of the line and calmly decide to walkaway.
In fact, it’s such a common phenomenon among women there’s even a name for it; ‘Walkaway Wife Syndrome’. But what exactly is it and what leads to the decision to quietly quit a marriage?
Here we explain what the term ‘walkaway’ means, and why it’s risen in popularity over recent years.
What is Walkaway Wife Syndrome?
Walkaway Wife Syndrome refers to women who over time have become so frustrated and unfilled by their marriage they eventually leave, typically after years of feeling unheard or taken for granted.
Understanding walkaway divorce
In divorces described as walkaway, or ‘slow burn divorce’, the decision to leave is gradual and the result of an accumulation of years of unresolved conflicts and unmet needs. Frustration has set in because of a series of issues that have either been addressed but not resolved, or not addressed at all.
Eventually, it leads to an acceptance that the marriage is beyond repair. What’s the point in staying together when they’re not getting anything positive from it any more?
For them, the marriage already feels like it’s over, even if they haven’t voiced it yet.
Why do women walk out?
Marriages are complex and unique, and we all want different things from our partners. So, there is no one reason that leads to women leaving their marriage. However, recurring themes in walk away divorces include:
- Incompatibility: Growing apart and realising fundamental differences.
- Communication problems: Recurring issues with communication and resolving conflicts.
- Lack of commitment: A sense that their partner isn’t as invested in the relationship as they are.
- Family responsibilities: Conflicts over roles and responsibilities within the home.
- Extramarital affairs: Infidelity and intimacy outside the marriage.
- Financial incompatibility: Disagreements over money and financial priorities.
- Substance abuse: Addiction issues that strain the relationship.
- Domestic abuse: Physical, emotional, or psychological abuse.
In the past few decades, societal and cultural expectations of marriage and gender roles have shifted significantly. This offers disillusioned partners greater scope to redefine their relationship, and perhaps even the realisation that the role they’ve played for years is no longer right for them.
Warning signs
Characteristically in walk away divorces there are few warning signs. The first indication of trouble is often when a wife tells their partner they’re leaving.
The reality, however, is that the decision usually follows years of internal emotional struggle.
Factors such as no longer playing a big role in each other’s daily lives, feeling emotionally distant, and a loss of support and validation, play a part. Over time, these feelings culminate and can become deep-rooted resentment.
Can I save my marriage?
A fundamental reason for a walkaway divorce is not being seen by a partner. Because of this, it’s often helpful for efforts to save a marriage to focus on deepening your emotional connection, improving communication, and actively acknowledging and validating both partners’ feelings and needs.
- Open communication is essential. Be honest about your unhappiness and its root causes, so you can address underlying issues.
- Understanding each other’s frustrations and disengagement without placing blame can be helpful.
- Seeking help from a marriage counsellor can be invaluable. A trained therapist could help you navigate problems and rediscover your connection.
However you approach resolving issues, it’s crucial that both you and your other half are equally willing to adjust, compromise and find middle ground so you’re both invested in the future of the relationship.
When walking away makes sense
If you’ve reached the decision that it’s time to move on from your marriage, you might be unsure about where to begin.
Ultimately, this decision is not just about leaving a partner; it’s about embracing a future where your needs and happiness are prioritised. That’s why we’ve created a host of resources with guidance and tips for every step of the divorce journey from telling your other half and preparing your finances, to starting with the right negotiation mindset, so you can move closer to the future you want.
Get in touch
If you’re grappling with the decision to leave an unfulfilling marriage, know that you’re not alone. Our experienced legal team is here to help you navigate this difficult time with understanding, and expertise, so you can move forward with strength. Request a callback or contact us today.
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Lkterally everything you explained it happening to me a guy so rethink your title of runaway wife syndrome when these lazy females are the ones not doing c**p for us nowadays like are we supposed to work and clean while they party with whomever they want? Nice try author.
Darrell, maybe your situation is different… as a woman, who has been in a 15year relationship, always the bread winner… full-time, split shifts, double shifts, working weeks on end without days off.. still being told my hours worked aren’t enough, yet im not involved with the family. I must choose either to be involved with the family, or sleep the 5 hours i have before my next shift… i work hard for my family, i clean, cook. It is never enough. My “partner” claims he has no time to himself, yet he has no job, i allow him time to get out for walks when he needs, he plays hours of video games and watches lots of television. I am told when i do is not enough. I am unmotivated. Uninvolved. Uncaring.
Darrell, would you like me to list all the things i am “not allowed” to do??? I can’t cook when he’s sleeping (he sleeps during the day!). I don’t party, i dont go out with friends. If i take too long at the grocery store, i am bombarded with rude phone calls and texts. I have no personal space on my home. He goes through my things and decides what i should keep and should get rid of….
Not every situation is the same, brother.
4k women movement. Lavender marriages. Do better.
This article touched on everything that I am feeling and experiencing to a T. I have been praying for my marriage for years and have come to realize that done things are worth saving…yes, ME. After 20 years of trying I done. Oh, and I am the wife. Thank you.
Anonymous
You forgot to mention the wife who walks away due to the husband’s ill-health. It happened to me. Total shock that she could do it, but then turned out she was seeing someone else too.
In sickness and in health? What a joke.
Sj
I left a marriage of 48 years. He was a good man, a good provider and a good father (maybe because the children were part of him) but for some reason, he was unable to feel & therefore show real love and respect, for his good wife who loved him. I guess what I experienced was the opposite of the husband who loves his wife deeply but does not feel or show love for the children. I dont understand the psychology behind it, but having a husband I eventually realised never truly loved me I needed to admit defeat. A very sad experience